TL;DR
Tom Scocca argues that the real limiter on when we have children is mortality, not just fertility: delaying parenthood shortens the time parents actually share with their offspring. Cultural and economic incentives that encourage waiting obscure that trade-off, and technological fixes cannot erase the hard limit of death.
What happened
In a personal essay, Tom Scocca uses examples and family history to make a broader point: the inescapable fact of death is the true "biological clock." He begins with the recent death of Nabi Tajima, then the world’s oldest person at 117, and moves to reflections on his own life — his father (born in 1940) and his two sons, one of whom is seven. Scocca recounts how, at 35, he and his wife delayed parenthood for reasons tied to career and readiness, then realized that postponing children subtracts years they could spend together. He cites the Social Security Administration’s life-expectancy calculator, which at the time estimated an average man of his birthdate had about 34.9 more years (total 82.0 years) — a number that provoked dread. The piece contrasts cultural narratives that treat adulthood as something to defer with the arithmetic of generational overlap and mentions high-profile examples like Mick Jagger fathering a child at 73 to illustrate limits on presence across a child’s life.
Why it matters
- Timing of parenthood determines how much shared lifetime parents and children will actually have.
- Cultural and economic pressures that favor waiting can obscure the irreversible loss of shared years.
- Conversations about fertility often focus narrowly on women’s reproductive timelines while the prospect of premature death stays largely unspoken.
- Technological or wealth-based workarounds can alter circumstances but cannot fully erase the reality of mortality.
Key facts
- The essay opens with the death of Nabi Tajima, who was 117 and the last known person born in the 19th century.
- Author Tom Scocca notes his father was born in 1940 and has since died; the author was 47 at the time of writing.
- Scocca describes delaying parenthood until his mid-30s; his younger son is seven in the essay.
- Using the Social Security Administration’s calculator, Scocca reports an average man born the same day could expect about 34.9 more years, for a total life expectancy of 82.0 years (initial check was 35.4 years).
- The essay uses Mick Jagger’s late-in-life paternity (fathering a child at 73) as an example showing wealth can extend options but not presence across a child’s full life.
- Scocca compares the passage of time to a sandglass: waiting doesn’t add years, it redistributes the limited span of shared life.
What to watch next
- not confirmed in the source: demographic trends in average parental age and how they affect intergenerational overlap
- not confirmed in the source: outcomes and accessibility of fertility-extending technologies for different income groups
- not confirmed in the source: public policy changes (childcare, parental leave, elder care) that might alter incentives about when to have children
Quick glossary
- Biological clock: A colloquial phrase referring to the biological limits and timing related to reproduction and life stages.
- Life expectancy: A statistical measure estimating the average remaining years of life for a person at a given age, often derived from national data.
- Intergenerational overlap: The period during which different generations (for example, parents and their children) are alive at the same time and can interact.
- Fertility technology: Medical and scientific interventions — such as in vitro fertilization or egg freezing — intended to assist or extend reproductive possibilities.
Reader FAQ
What does Scocca mean by calling mortality the "real biological clock"?
He means that the certainty of death, and the finite years people have, is the primary limiter on how much time parents will actually share with their children.
Does the essay give concrete life-expectancy figures?
Yes. Scocca cites a Social Security Administration calculation estimating an average man born on his birthdate had about 34.9 more years to live, for a total of 82.0 years.
Does the piece argue technological fixes solve the problem?
No. It notes that science and wealth can push limits in some ways, but they cannot remove the hard reality of mortality and the resulting loss of shared time.
Is the decline of fertility presented as only a women’s issue?
The essay says conversations typically focus on women’s reproductive aging but acknowledges men’s fertility also declines; broader mortality risks are rarely spoken.
PHOTO ILLUSTRATION, TOMBSTONE HEADER PHOTO DEE E. WARENYCIA, ROSEVILLE, CA, BABY CARRIAGE CTK VIA AP IMAGES Your Real Biological Clock Is You’re Going to Die PUBLISHED ON OCT 18, 2018…
Sources
- Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
- Why is parental lifespan linked to children's chances of …
- Time to Death
- Your real age explained: the five biological clocks of health
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