TL;DR
A Hacker News reply argues that addressing loneliness requires active effort: seek out people in shared spaces, volunteer, join events, and work on emotional health. The commenter also recommends therapy, boundary-setting, and notes a decline in traditional 'third places' as a structural barrier.
What happened
In a response on Hacker News to a question about solving the loneliness epidemic, a commenter laid out both personal advice and structural observations. They urged people to proactively seek others by volunteering and attending gatherings explicitly designed to foster connections, and warned that rebuilding social ties will take work and resilience against rejection. The reply recommended therapy for people who carry persistent negative self-beliefs from childhood, arguing that emotional health makes forming relationships easier. The commenter also offered a generational perspective: growing up in a time when public life and shared spaces forced more incidental socializing made building social ties easier, while today many options let people avoid public interaction. They cited two sources that discuss the decline of 'third places' and suggested concrete practices like setting and enforcing boundaries, reframing self-talk, and persisting despite setbacks.
Why it matters
- Loneliness often requires proactive, sustained effort from the individual rather than passive fixes.
- Declines in shared public spaces reduce everyday opportunities for incidental social connection.
- Mental health support can remove barriers that make forming relationships more difficult.
- Practical skills—boundary-setting, handling rejection, and reframing self-talk—affect social outcomes.
Key facts
- The commenter advises actively finding people who are seeking connection through volunteering and social events.
- They caution that building friendships takes work and that success is not guaranteed.
- Therapy is recommended for people carrying long-term negative beliefs about themselves.
- The reply argues boundaries are important: set them, communicate them, and enforce them.
- The commenter links to research and reporting suggesting a decline in 'third places' (shared public spaces).
- A generational anecdote describes a past where public activities made socializing more automatic.
- The author encouraged replacing harsh self-talk with kinder, growth-oriented phrasing.
What to watch next
- Trends in the availability and use of 'third places' (public/shared spaces) cited by the commenter.
- not confirmed in the source: whether local volunteer organizations and community events are scaling up to meet demand.
- not confirmed in the source: changes in access to affordable therapy or mental health services in specific areas.
Quick glossary
- Third place: A social setting outside home (first place) and work (second place) where people gather and form community, such as cafes, libraries, or parks.
- Therapy: Professional mental health treatment intended to address psychological issues and improve emotional wellbeing.
- Boundaries: Limits people set in relationships to protect their emotional needs and define acceptable behavior.
- Volunteering: Offering time or services to an organization or cause, often as a way to meet people and build connections.
Reader FAQ
What immediate actions does the commenter recommend to reduce loneliness?
Seek out people through volunteering and events designed for connection, and look for others who are actively socializing.
Is professional help suggested?
Yes; the commenter recommends therapy if it is accessible to help address persistent negative self-beliefs.
Are structural factors mentioned?
Yes; the reply cites research and reporting that suggest 'third places' are in decline, which reduces incidental social opportunities.
Can building friendships be guaranteed?
No; the commenter explicitly states success is not assured and emphasizes persistence and boundary-setting.
You asked how to solve the loneliness epidemic. I provided citations and recommendations. Are you asking me how to be the person you need to be to make bids for…
Sources
- Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
- Tackling Loneliness – Video
- Loneliness Human Nature And The Need For Social …
- Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation
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