TL;DR
An essay critiques the popular social-media trope of sharing supposed 'deathbed' regrets as advice, arguing such posts are often performative or unhelpful. The author favors learning from people who modeled choices rather than from late-stage proclamations.
What happened
A commentator examined the trend of posting advice framed as things people say on their deathbeds, especially regrets about relationships, worrying about others' opinions, or narrowly specific life choices. The writer argues this format is frequently cheap and amounts to retroactive complaining rather than useful guidance, noting there may have been practical reasons those choices weren't made earlier. The piece calls out chronic complainers — those who prefer whining to acting — and suggests their hypothetical last words will likely mirror their present habits. As an alternative to abstract admonitions, the author recommends paying attention to actions people actually took: being a role model, not just offering advice. The post also cites a Turkish proverb to convey the sentiment that unrealized things often seem larger in hindsight, and mentions that admonitions like "be less on social media" are common but already accessible to people alive today.
Why it matters
- Framing regrets as prescriptive advice can promote performative moralizing rather than meaningful change.
- Readers may confuse late-stage statements with reliable guidance, despite lack of context or action behind them.
- Highlighting the difference between words and deeds shifts focus toward observable examples people can emulate.
- Common pre-deathbed regrets (such as spending less time online) are actionable now, raising questions about sincerity.
Key facts
- Social media frequently circulates posts purporting to summarize 'advice from the deathbed'.
- Typical themes include wishing one had spent more time with loved ones or cared less about others' opinions.
- The author finds such posts cheap and likens them to time-travelled whining about life choices.
- Chronic complainers are noted as people who prefer complaining over taking transformative action.
- The author prefers advice grounded in observed behavior — role models who acted — over verbal regrets.
- A Turkish proverb referenced in the piece expresses that the fish that got away always seems bigger.
- The essay points out that many common regrets (e.g., being less on social media) are already known and actionable.
What to watch next
- Whether social-media users shift from sharing abstract deathbed-style regrets to showcasing lived examples — not confirmed in the source.
- If platforms or communities start policing or contextualizing posts that present late-life regrets as universal advice — not confirmed in the source.
Quick glossary
- Deathbed regret: A reflection or wish expressed late in life about things a person wishes they had done differently.
- Performative advice: Guidance offered primarily to signal virtue or sentiment rather than to effect real change.
- Role model: Someone whose actions and choices serve as a practical example others can follow.
- Chronic complainer: A person who habitually vocalizes dissatisfaction without taking steps to resolve the underlying issues.
Reader FAQ
What is the author's main critique?
That deathbed-style regrets are often cheap, performative, and not useful guidance compared with real examples.
Does the essay say all late-life advice is worthless?
No — it emphasizes valuing advice backed by actions; blanket dismissal of all late-life insights is not stated.
Are specific common regrets mentioned?
Yes. The piece cites wanting to be more present with loved ones and caring less about others' opinions, plus the frequent counsel to use social media less.
Does the author recommend a clear alternative?
The author recommends prioritizing role models and observable behavior over abstract deathbed-style advice.
2025-12-26 On deathbed advice/regret A common social media trope is posting advice from people on their deathbed. Usually about things they didn't do. "I should've been more there for my…
Sources
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